I haven’t been on you for a while now. It’s been so hectic lately that I haven’t gotten the time to even think about looking at you, scrolling down your endless pictures, quotes, and reminiscent photos.
I remember when you used to be part of my daily routine, and now I’ve totally overlooked you. It’s been tough since I’ve gotten more sick recently. And of course all the thoughts going on in my mind have really put you at the bottom of my list.
I guess she’s also one of the reasons I don’t open you as much as I used to. You were something that she and I shared, good and bad. After it ended, I guess you were just one of the things that slowly disappeared as well. I remember all those memorable posts, all those personal messages.
I’ve done pretty well of putting things past me lately. I don’t think about it as much as I used to. I mean, what can I do about something that doesn’t exist anymore. If I just sit in my room and continuously wish for it to come back, it’s not like it will miraculously spark again, after all she has a new me, a better me.
This will sound hypocritical to what I just said won’t it, but I’ve been thinking of her these past two days. Had my itunes on shuffle, and one of my favorite songs that she showed me was played. I used to always associate this song as “us”, as it was something we shared. The way the song flowed, and the lyrics sung, once like shots of morphine and adrenaline, now just feel like stinging blows to the heart.
"When I fall asleep I feel you with me…”
Lights (And Counting)… It just brings back memories. A time filled will joy and nostalgia. A feeling of young love, pure love. A love that can’t be touched or revisited, something you can only feel once, and once it’s gone, you can’t have it back. I guess sometimes I just wonder where those three years went, and how everything just dissipated so quickly.
Anyways, I don’t want to rant. I just wanted to revisit you, a part of my past that still has a place in my life. I’ll be back soon.